I’m writing this on Friday evening and on Monday morning (extremely early, Monday morning), we’re going to Aberdeen Airport to catch a plane to Amsterdam before (hopefully) catching another plane to Paris.

The past few trips I’ve taken, it feels like I’ve handed over the reins to Stuart, who has handled all the bookings, etc and just asked for money when necessary and while I have travelled without Stuart, it’s mostly been solo travelling – without anyone else to worry about – if things go wrong when solo, there feels like there’s a lot less at stake. Because, you just get yourself out of it, right? You have no other choice.

That’s not to say all travels with Stuart have been plain sailing – looking at you, Arras 2015.

This trip, I’m going with Connor. Who hasn’t been to Paris before. I’ve booked everything, from flights to hotels and everything in-between and the closer things get, the more I’m starting to wonder if (what’s meant to be) the 55 minute transfer time in Amsterdam is going to be enough – KLM offered it up as an option while booking a flight from Aberdeen to Paris, so you have to assume it is… But what if the Aberdeen flight is late? Looking up the gate A08 at Schiphol that the Aberdeen flight seems to land at, the internet tells me it’s a bus gate, which I assume means we’ll have to get off the plane and onto a bus to be driven to the terminal building. Fine, in normal circumstances, but thinking about Gatwick and how long buses can take to show up sometimes, will that factor into the time we have?

I downloaded the Schiphol app yesterday, and tracked KL2003 – the flight we’re taking from Amsterdam to Paris. I got a notification that it started boarding at 8:50am. The Aberdeen flight landed at 8:40.

We’re only taking hand-luggage. So that takes some of the worry away. We only need to get ourselves (and our backpacks) from plane to plane.

Plane schedules aside, there’s also the mess of Covid rules. My first encounter of them, at all, really. The only other place I’ve been since March 2020 is London in September 2021 and at that point, while masks were mandatory, there was no testing or anything required. No forms to fill in. In fact, throughout both outbound and inbound travel, not a single document of mine was checked at all (other than self-scanning my boarding pass).

Now I need to deal with Passenger locator forms, etc. As far as I’m aware (and I’ve checked multiple times) we don’t need to test to get into France, which is great. But Leanne joked that if we missed the flight to Paris from Amsterdam, we could chill in Amsterdam for a bit. But we can’t do that, because if I’m right, to get into the Netherlands, you do need to have tested negative – not that I plan to be positive going to Paris, but France don’t care anymore, it seems.

Stress aside, the main reason for the trip is to be at Disneyland Paris for it’s 30th anniversary. My first trip in 2007 was in it’s 15th Anniversary year and I’ve been in the parks during it’s 15th, 20th, 25th and with this upcoming trip, the 30th anniversaries, though this is the first time I’ll be there on the actual date it originally opened (April 12th).

I don’t know (and don’t think) anything is officially happening to celebrate the anniversary on the day, but it’ll still be cool to be there and just be back in a Disney park in general. We’ve got 2 nights/3 days at Disney and then a couple days for Paris itself. There are things I need to book if we’re going to do them in Paris, but I’m waiting until we’re actually over there to attempt any of that, in case anything goes wrong beforehand.

Fingers crossed we don’t end up in Arras again.
No offence, Arras.

At the time of writing this, it is currently 00:17 French time. I picked Connor up at around 2am UK time and haven’t slept since. Our flight from Aberdeen wasn’t until 06:05 and it only takes an hour and a half to get there (at most), yet we left at 2am. We got there so early that the bus running from the long stay car park to the terminal wasn’t even running for another half hour.

The flight to Amsterdam went alright, a slight snag in the already panicky transfer was that we hit passport control in Amsterdam, as opposed to Paris, something I wasn’t expecting to happen – but we made it to the gate with plenty time to spare and got through CDG without any hassle either, just a wee wait for the train to Marne-la-Valee.

Arriving at Disney, we ended up walking to our hotel and got ourselves checked in, dropping off our bags as the room wasn’t ready then headed to the park.

Connor had said before that he’d be paying for fast pass, as he didn’t want to wait in queues… And that’s just what he did. We spent (or he spent) a small fortune on ‘Premiere Access’. I don’t agree with paid fast pass, at least not on an individual basis… But the results? We walked on to and rode pretty much every ride we wanted to in one day.

First up, Big Thunder, then Space Mountain, Phantom Manor, Ratatouille, Tower of Terror. We then took a break, got into our room, etc. Then came back and did Pirates of the Caribbean and Star Tours. The only ride Id like to do but haven’t yet is Crush’s Coaster.

The park was crazy crowded, there’s no way we’d have got on half the rides we did if we were queuing normally.

After the rides came time for Disney’s new night-time show Disney D-light. A drone show above the castle. The show itself is short, but looks amazing. For a park that’s so often (wrongly, in my opinion) shat on for being second tier, etc. The drone show is better than any other park has in terms of that kind of night time show.

The crowds getting ready to watch were a fucking nightmare though. Huge groups sat on the ground, saving their space, unwilling to love for anything or anyone. Blocking pathways, etc.

Disney are as much to blame for allowing it to happen and not creating pathways for people wishing to leave, etc.

After D-light and illuminations, we came back to the hotel. Tired. Sore. Sweaty (maybe just me on that one).

Tomorrow, the plan (my plan at least) is to hit the park first thing, see what they’ve got going for the 30th.

thing.

After having been awake for well over a day and away from home for almost 24hrs, I went to sleep at around 2am France time, and preceded to wake uo/fall asleep every hour or so thereafter until giving up at around 7am.

With it being the park’s anniversary, they were opening earlier than usual (at 8:30) and I had considered going down for the opening myself (as Connor wasn’t keen on the idea), but when I saw the crowd gathered at 7:30, I chose not to.

We got to the park around 9ish and made our way in, in Disney village they were handing out 30th anniversary flags, and I had walked right past them, cause I knew I’d only end up carrying it around all day and I’d get annoyed with it. When we got to the park though, there were multiple people lined up, all but forcing people to take one.

Once under the station and into Town Square, the extent of what was going on became more apparent. As a celebration of guests (I guess?), the cast members were lining the street, clapping, dancing and singing along to Un monde qui s’illumine ! – the 30th anniversary anthem. The cast members stretched the length of Main Street and right around the hub.

It was a surreal experience, to say the least. The song has been stuck in both our heads since.

We grabbed a couple passes for Big Thunder, Space Mountain and Buzz Lightyear – I had told Connor he’d probably enjoy Buzz, but that I wasn’t a huge fan, though I would ride it. One of the main reasons I don’t like it is because I’m just not that good at it… Then I went and beat him. Oops.

From there, we went over to Studios and rode Tower of Terror before grabbing some lukewarm food in Studio One. After that, we rode Crush’s Coaster for the first time this trip.

Throughout all the pass buying escapades, I’ve been using the same card. But for some reason today, transactions on that card, via the DLP app just failed. Not declined, just wouldn’t go through at all. I was able to link another card, but it was still annoying. I contacted the card company, but no help so far.

Back to the hotel after Crush and dropped off the flags, finally. We wanderdd around Val d’Europe shopping centre, still unsure why, to be honest. Then bought some suncream, to try and belatedly stop ourselves from burning? I’m not sure.

Back in the park tonight, rode a few more rides and then back to the hotel relatively early and lazed around.

Tomorrow: new hotel! And Paris!

Day three and the morning started off well. Dropped our bags with left luggage at the hotel and ventured into the parks, hitting up Crushes Coaster and Tower of Terror after a breakfast Mickey Waffle — not that there was anything breakfast-y about the waffle, other than the time of day.

I had been under the impression that the Disneyland Railroad was closed, no matter when I checked the app, it kept telling me it was, which made the fact that I kept seeing it going around the park particularly frustrating.

Doing some further research, I found that it was in fact open most of the day, closing at 5pm. So, being as the plan was to go into Paris for the day, I wanted to get a loop of railway done before we went. So, when we were done in Studios, we headed over to the main park with the sole purpose of getting railed. Unfortunately, while in the queue, the ride went down. We could have waited, but with no idea what was wrong with it or how long it’d be down for, we jumped the barrier and departed Disney, heading for Bussy-St-Georges and our new hotel.

Check-in at the new hotel went well, our room was ready, we could drop off our bags. Great. Got up to the room and found that the twin room I’d booked was arranged as a double, so back down to reception we went to ask for that to be rectified. Asked if we were going out, we were assured it’d be sorted by the time we got back (and it was).

We had talked before we left Scotland about what we wanted to do in Paris. I’d done pretty much everything before, so really it was reliant on what Connor might want to do. The only thing that we’d really both committed to was the Catacombs, which wasn’t going to be today. In my head, I figured we could do a sight-seeing tour today, take in the big things, and then do the Eiffel Tower, Catacombs, etc on Thursday. Maybe even squeeze something in on Friday morning, if needs-be.

The RER line from Bussy took us right to the Arc De Triomphe – I always enjoy venturing out from underground and being faced by a big famous landmark (my first impression of London proper was Big Ben at Westminster Tube) and having seen the big Arch, it was decided we’d go up it and that I’d try not to die.

It was this decision that lulled us (perhaps especially me) into a false sense of security. We queued up, we bought a ticket, we went up. We saw Paris from up high. We came down again.

You know? How tourist attractions generally work. Go, get ticket, experience thing, leave. Lovely.

Going with the theme of seeing everything, we walked from Archie boi down to The Louvre and it was here that things started to fall apart. We stopped for something to eat, in the food court area of the shopping centre attached to the museum, which took approximately 1000 years to arrive and once we were done, figured ‘We’re here, we may as well go in.’

April is a notoriously busy time in Paris any way, couple that with the fact that it was slap in the middle of the Easter holidays, I expected crowds, I expected things to be busy. While finishing up our food, I checked online to see how much tickets were going to be and if I could buy them online (save queuing in the museum itself).

As it turned out, I couldn’t buy them in the museum even if I wanted to, as all tickets were now to be pre-booked/time-stamped. Not to worry, just buy one online, right? – If not for today, tomorrow?

Wrong.

There were no tickets for the Louvre available until the following week.

Mona Lisa’s shite anyway.

Not wanting to be disappointed again, and doubling down somewhat on my ‘let’s at least see all the things’ mentality, from the Louvre, we went to Trocadero. Which, from past experience, gives great views across to the Eiffel Tower. At the moment though? Covered in construction walls, which block pretty much every vantage point.

Carrying on, we walked down toward the tower and jumped on the RER again, this time aiming for Notre Dam – this was one place I knew wouldn’t be as I’d known it before, given the fire damage and consequent repair work needed, so snapped a couple pictures and then crossed the river and started to look for something to eat.

While on the search, I checked my phone and saw I had a message from my Uncle and while I have nothing against the man, we’re not in regular communication. So, when I saw a missed call and a text from him asking – ‘Martin, can you give me a call when you can’, my heart sank.

Panic set in. Something had happened to my Mum. She was hurt… Or worse. How do I get back to the UK? I could rent a car and drive, that’d get me on my way the quickest, probably. There’d probably be flights, but could I afford it? Maybe train to London and a flight? Or drive from there? My bag was at the hotel still, but I could go via the hotel and get to the airport from Marne-la-Vallée. Was I ready to face whatever would be waiting for me when I did get back though?

All of this. All the panic. All in the approximately four minutes it took from reading the message to being on the phone with him.

Something serious had happened. Someone was ill and in a dangerous situation. That someone wasn’t my Mum… When he said the name of the person, a wave of relief swept over me, as I still tried to take in all the important information he was telling me.

The reason he had tried to call me (and messaged me) was that he’d already tried my Mum and couldn’t get a hold of her, so figured if I happened to be going out to her, I could just tell her in person. When I told him I was in Paris. He had had no idea.

After coming off the phone to him, we found an ice cream place and got a milkshake. My mind was still racing though. Everything was fine, but it was playing the ‘what if?’ game.

The day already hadn’t gone as planned or expected, we had a whole other day of Paris that we were meant to fill and if the Louvre was anything to go by, weren’t going to be able to do anything. My mood was now super low, due to the ‘what if?’ game my mind was now playing and I wasn’t having a good time.

Our Disney tickets ran out at park close, so we had one final night of Disney to enjoy. We got on the RER back to the hotel and then headed to the park, arriving just as the sun was setting. We rode rides. Ate waffles. Watched the drone show again.

Back at the hotel in Bussy, I started looking up options. Tickets for the Eiffel Tower weren’t available online, but there was possibility of buying on site. I started looking at Asterix Parc as a legitimate option, but although we could possibly have bought tickets at the gate, there was no guarantee and it’s pretty far out of the way for there not to be a guarantee of that.

Despite the lack of sleep in general this trip, I lay in bed, going over the what if scenario(s) in my head for a long time.

Not ideal.

Day Four and we’re out of Disney days. I had lay in bed, awake, for a long time – partly coming to terms with the message/call I’d received from my Uncle (and the series of ‘what ifs’ that had played out in my head), partly trying to figure out what we could actually do today, if we couldn’t get to the Eiffel Tower, etc.

We left the hotel room later than previous days and headed into Paris. I had thought to myself (and perhaps even said to Connor) that the level of busking/homeless/con-artists on this trip were dramatically reduced from previous trips. A pleasant thing. Even around Marne-la-Vallée you could usually find some people hanging around the station, hoping to prey on unsuspecting tourists, but this time? Nothing.

Nothing until today, that is. We swapped from the RER to Metro at Nation, aiming for Montparnasse station. Along the way, a homeless guy got on, with a… Unique aroma… and started asking around for money, before moving his way down the train, making sure to touch Connor as he went, and finding a seat. The rest of the journey was accompanied by his beautiful singing voice.

Exiting at Montparnasse, we grabbed some food from a supermarket nearby (in which Connor also took a shit in a toilet with no roof), before eating said lunch at the open plaza area in front of the station.

The plan from there was to go to the Eiffel Tower and see if we could get up without a having pre-booked a ticket. We walked from Montparnasse down to the Eiffel Tower. We’d already seen it yesterday, but since the last time I was in Paris (2015), they’ve built a large glass wall around the base of the tower. ‘Cause terrorism.

Arriving from the Champs de Mars side, we walked down the right of the tower to find a massive queue, that itself would have been over an hour long, at least, queuing to get into the area beneath the tower. A sign along that queue also seemed to indicate that you couldn’t get in without a ticket.

We sat down on the grass near where the queue was formed. I was feeling pretty defeated (and also sore, my feet were killing me). Connor insisted we have a look at the other side, to see if there was another entrance there. We went and there was. This time with a much shorter queue. Still no guarantee of getting up the tower, but we were at least allowed into the base area.

Once in, we found that there was a ticket booth for lift access (because was I fuck walking up the steps). It said that the queue time would be approximately an hour to get the tickets, but that was fine, so long as we were getting them. I’m sure that timeframe would have been accurate, too, had they not decided to just close up shop at some point while we queued.

Tickets in hand, we made our way to the lift, passing through security again with a sign letting you know that no knives were allowed. Given that we had to go through security to get to this point, how we were meant to have knives on us, I’m not sure… But also, why there was a bucket full of knives by this sign… I’m also not sure.

We went to the top. We viewed the views. We came back down.

In part, I think, due to the wall around the tower, causing bottlenecks in the pathways around it, the amount of people trying to sell you shit, the ‘string’ guys, etc seemed to be worse than I’d ever seen it before and for both of us, getting away from them all became the number one priority.

We sat near The Seine for a bit. I had thought about going over to Montmartre, seeing the Moulin Rouge and going up to the Sacré-Cœur, but I was sore, the chances of what we’d just escaped around the Eiffel Tower being just as bad over there and the fact that Connor didn’t really care about it, meant we made the decision to just head back to the hotel.

We stopped off at a little Chinese supermarket in Bussy, on the way. I was fully aware that it was a Chinese place, but I figured it’d have a snack/juice section the same as any other supermarket. While it had a few items though, it didn’t have nearly as much as I thought it might.

Back in the room, we dropped off the snacks we had and decided to head to Val d’Europe for food. There was a pizza place near to the RER station that looked alright (turns out it was pretty much in the RER station). Service was fine, pizza was decent. We hit up the supermarket across the street for more snacks (far too many snacks, given that we were checking out in a little over 12hrs and had to sleep in that time, too) and went back to the hotel to eat more and watch TV.

It was a much slower paced day, and perhaps slightly less disappointing than I’d imagined, given that we got up the tower. Still, Paris lacked the charm it’s had on every other visit for me. I don’t know if it was extra covid regulations still in place, just the amount of people going around in what was always going to be a busy time or what… Visiting at a quieter time might answer those questions, or just go on to show that it’s no longer a city I like being in. We’ll see.

Tomorrow: Home time!

Before going back to the room last night, I checked with reception to see what time we needed to be out of the room by – Noon. Cool.

With no real time (or desire) to venture far, we had decided we would stay as long as possible before checking out and so the morning consisted of slowly getting ready, showered, packed, etc.

Around 11:50am there was a knock at the door, it was house-keeping. I tried to tell her that we were just about to leave and I think she got what I was trying to say, but she only spoke French, so we may never know. She was waiting down the corridor when we did eventually leave though. I know hotels have tight turnarounds, but if check out time is noon and there’s a do not disturb on the door handle, maybe wait until noon to knock? No?

After leaving the hotel, we stopped at a little bakery across from the RER and grabbed a couple Pain au Chocolats for our (late) breakfast.

We then went back to Disney one last time to have a look around the shops at Disney village and get yet more food before our train to Charles De Gaulle.

The train back was mobbed, to the point where we stood awkwardly, with others next to the luggage rack/door the whole journey, once at the airport, we made our way through security and to our gate.

While sat at the gate (we had a while), Connor was talking about how much he wanted to go back to Disney. Long story short? While sat at the gate for our flight home, we made reservations for Disney hotel and booked return flights for January. Oops.

As with the way to Disney, the journey back meant another border control visit at Amsterdam. The queue moved a lot slower this time and the EU passengers border next to us was a lot more visible, meaning it hurt all the more watching people sail through as we waited. All the staff were really friendly and upbeat though (my experience of border control has mostly consisted of America, where they treat you as guilty from the moment you land til the moment you collect your luggage on the other side and get out of the airport).

Back in Aberdeen, we got back to the long-stay carpark and made our way to the exit. I had the ticket that the machine gave me when we arrived, with my reg number printed on it. I put it in the machine, fully expecting the barrier to raise and for us to drive out.

The barrier did not raise. Instead, it charged me £100.

I had already paid for the parking online, in advance. £61.99. We had purposefully chosen the further away car park, because we didn’t (or I didn’t) want to pay £100 for fucking parking. Yet here we were, behind a barrier, with a £100 toll to get out.

I paid it and we left. Annoyed.

Looking into it once I was home, I had made the mistake of pressing the button on the machine when we arrived for a ticket – it should have automatically spat out a ticket when it read the plate. It didn’t. Meaning that instead of using the pre-booked slot we had, we essentially started a new one.

I wrote to the parking people and laid out what happened. Admitting fault and asking there was anything they could do.

If anything, I expected them to maybe refund the £61.99. Since technically, that wasn’t used. But they wrote back asking for the card details used, saying they’d refund the full £100 paid at the gate (which is now back in the account).