Started off the journey to Paris at the quiz, where we did as well as we ever do. Then we hit the road, stopping off at Tesco in Inverness for road snacks.

The plan had been for Connor to drive the whole way, it being his car an’ all, but I could see and he could feel his eyes getting heavier as tike went on, culminating in us stopping in a layby just after Blair Atholl and switching over.

We got to the airport way too early, as is tradition. Only, it turns out, Edinburgh Airport totally shuts down overnight and any opening times they may list on their website are a fantasy.

3am seemed to be the earliest things post security were listed as being open before we left, and so, it would stand to reason that security would be open 3am at the latest, right? Right?!

The security gates didn’t open until 3:35/3:40am.

All good, the Weatherspoons we were aiming for for breakfast opened (according to the site) at 3:30am, so we can go straight there and get food.

It didnt open until just after 4am.

Like, it’s all good, we got our food and other things we needed to get post-security and still had loads of time before our flight, but accurate opening times would have been nice…

The flight to and travel from CDG to Disneyland went extremely smoothly (once we found the ticket machines for the TGV-we were both sure they used to be yellow?). Arriving at Disney, the hotel’s computer system was down, so everything was having to be handwritten. Still, again, all went seemingly smoothly and we got our magic passes, dropped off our bags and entered the parks.

Within the main park, we managed to knock out Phantom, Indy and pirates before stopping off for a snack and then heading to Studios, where we did Tower of Terror, Spidey, Flight Force, Road Trip and Crush.

After we got off Crush, it was almost 3pm and the hotel had said we’d get a text by 3pm to say our room was ready. We had had no text, but opted to walk back to the hotel anyway and see if we could get in.

Their system was still down, but our rooms were ready. We got the room numbers, grabbed our bags and headed to the rooms.

Connor opened his door and went in… My key didn’t work. I left my bags with Connor and headed back to reception, which was now a lot busier than when we had last been. The guy at reception reset my key and sent me back with a phone number to call if it still didn’t work, so I didn’t have to go all the way back to reception.

It still didn’t work.

I found the phone and called up, the woman on the other end suggested that I come to reception again. After explaining that I’d just been to reception and was told to call if it happened again, she told me she’d send someone.

I hung up, and realised she hadn’t asked for my room number, but I didn’t know if that was on purpose or not. Like, would the person coming just come to the area where the call was made from and is take them to my room?

The phone rang. I answered. It was the same woman on the other end “Hi, sorry, I forgot to get your room number!”

That question answered, I waited for them to arrive at my door. They had to reset the lock but I got in.

Connor went for a nap, with the idea we’d go back out to the parks after.

Reader, we did not go out to the parks after. An extremely early night followed. I had a bath, and was in bed at 8pm.

The first full day and we were both awake early. For me, it was because I’d been awake every two hours since going to sleep and just chose to give up around 4:30am.

During our stay, we had the ‘extra magic hour’ each morning, which started at 8:30, with the parks opening for regular guests at 9:30. We got ourselves ready and headed to the Starbucks at the hotel for breakfast, before heading to the parks – opting to start with Walt Disney Studios.

DLP offer an ‘Ultimate’ version of their Premier Access pass, which bundles “all” the passes together, for a set price and enables you to ride each ride included once at a time of your choosing (when buying individually, you’re pass is limited to a set time window). It’s not the cheapest option, working out at approximately €90 each, but individually (in theory) the passes bought individually add up to more than that.

Premier Access lines don’t open until after extra magic is finished (and probably aren’t required either). We headed to Tower of Terror first and then after, we did Ratatouille and Crush’s Coaster – using our first Premier Access pass of the day.

Premier Access is a game changer for Crush. The ride is fun, but it is in no way worth the wait for stand by and due to the design of the shells (4 seats each), single rider can be just as long (as it’s rare that people are queuing in stand by alone, meaning it’s rare that single riders are needed). Waiting what is usually over an hour in stand by, for a ride that lasts 1 minute, 55 seconds is nothing but a recipe for disappointment. Premier Access lets you bypass that queue and enjoy the ride for what it is.

Once we’d rode the EAC all the way to Sydney, we headed out of the park and to the village and more specifically, Annette’s, for breakfast. The food was fine, a severe lack of servers on roller-skates though – only saw one guy.

After breakfast, we headed into the main Disneyland Park. We hit up the usual suspects of Phantom Manor, Pirates, Big Thunder, Disneyland Railroad, Peter Pan, Tea Cups, Star Tours and Autopia.

I’d never been on any version of Autopia before. Mostly because I’m not that interested in cars, and the fumes the Florida one gives off has never enticed me in. How it hasn’t been ripped out and replaced by something before now is a mystery to me. It’s such a lame ride (though, I understand it’s probably a people eater), that takes up such a large plot of land. It could be used for something so much better.

We then attempted to do Orbitron. It has a Premier Access line, and so with our ‘Ultimate’ pass, we went to scan it in.

Nope.

For some reason (and I couldn’t find an answer in the 5 second google I did at the time), Orbitron is not included in the Ultimate pass and it seems to be the only Premier Access pass not included in the Ultimate bundle. BUT WHY?!

After that (extremely minor) disappointment, we headed back to the Studios park and to Avenger’s Campus, to experience it all at night. Which, wasn’t as cool as I thought it’d be. I enjoyed the Campus in general, but thought it’d look cooler at night.

I won at Spider-man again though, so that was good.

One of the biggest issues with going to the parks at this time of year, during the quiet season, is that they close too early. You’re forced to spend all day in the parks to get the most out of your trip, but if you go back to the hotel to rest at all, it’s pretty much pointless going back out, as the parks will be closing shortly after. There is, of course, the balance of them being quieter and queues being less busy, but I don’t know if the trade-off is worth it. Especially when you’re buying the premier access passes any way.

Another earlier than desired start today, but still, a better sleep than the previous night.

From the other room, I heard Connor’s cough. He’d had a cough of some sort for a few days, but it sounded extra loud and gross this morning. I checked my phone and there was a text from him saying he needed painkillers.

In the US parks, I’m pretty sure the hotel shops stock general painkillers (paracetamol/ibuprofen), so I felt sure that that would be the case here, too. After some googling on opening times, etc. We found that no, the shop wouldn’t stock them, as seemingly all medications in France are only sold at a pharmacy. The resorts first aid centres could, perhaps, provide you with something, but they wouldn’t be open until the parks were open at 9:30 (or later in the case of the village location).

I went to the Hotel’s reception to confirm and the woman at the desk told me that the only option would be the pharmacy. Which is in Val d’Europe. A few minutes away by train.

Went back to the room, via Starbucks again (this time, Pain au chocolat was the order for breakfast) and waited until the pharmacy would be open to head to Val d’Europe – thankfully, the pharmacy is like a 2 minute walk from the RER station and I knew exactly where it was. I got the meds and headed to the little monoprix to get some juice and snacks.

RER trains always have a delightfully unique gross smell of having been used as a toilet in the recent past.

Once Connor was drugged up, we headed to the parks. This time the plan was to hit up the crappy Fantasyland rides in the main park. Storybook Boats, Casey Jr, Pinocchio & Dumbo.

After that, we headed over to Studios and Avengers Campus to eat at Stark Factory. Set up like a canteen, there are pasta and pizza options as well as salads, etc. The portion sizes were surprisingly generous, we both had the macaroni which we both enjoyed and a slice of pizza. Which I ended up eating most of (and enjoyed).

Coming out of Stark Factory, we encountered Iron Man riding on the back of the Avengers car – I’m aware it was a big selling point of Avengers Campus, but having the characters out and interacting with people – we saw Groot, Ant-Man, Wasp, Spider-Man, Black Widow, Captain Marvel and Sam Wilson/Captain America in the times we visited that area of the park – it all really adds to the immersion.

Heading out of Studios, we also saw Lightning McQueen driving around.

Back in the main park, we headed to Frontierland, jumped on Phantom Manor again, before boarding the Molly Brown to sail around the Rivers of America – another first for me. It was pretty cool and I imagine would be even nicer on a nicer day.

Back on dry land, we hopped on to the wildest ride in the wilderness before heading to see The Lion King: Rhythms of the Pridelands show. Again, something I hadn’t seen/done before. The show was well done, but squeezing the story of the Lion King down into a 30min show certainly takes away some of the nuance of the story.

From there, we ended up going back to the hotel, via the hotel shop (for snacks).

At the end of each day, I’ve had a bath. Something which has definitely helped with the general aches of theme park life. Tonight was no different. I then went for a ‘nap’ at like 6pm and more or less slept right through til morning.

Oops.

The final day and we were both awake stupidly early (having gone to bed stupidly early). Got showered and packed up everything, then headed to Starbucks for breakfast and to drop off our bags at the luggage storage.

Decided to start off the day at Studios again, got there just after 8am to find a tiny queue compared to that of two days previous. One thought was that Hyperspace Mountain was open for the first time in a few days and people might be aiming for that as a first ride of the day.

Not us though! – We were the first people in line for Tower of Terror.

The rest of the day consisted of final rides on the big hitters, as well as taking on Hyperspace Mountain for the first time this trip, and Orbitron for the first time ever.

We also went to see Mickey’s PhilharMagic – a show I’ve only seen once before in Florida. Supposed to be a 4D experience, the show was in 2D and there was very little of the 4th D going on either. In the Florida version (and seemingly, from a quick google every other version), the show ends with Donald being chucked from the screen to the back of the theatre, ending up stuck in the wall. This doesn’t happen in Paris.

We ate at Colonel Hathi’s Pizza Outpost – which was average at best.

After that, headed back to Studios to round out the ‘one last time’ rides and finished the day with some more macaroni at Stark Factory… Which, this time, left us both feeling ill. Not an ideal end to the day in the parks, but hey-ho.

After grabbing our bags from the hotel, we went to the station and attempted to buy the tickets for the TGV to the airport. The only issue? – The tickets didn’t print. It gave a reference code, which I tried to redeem on another machine – which didn’t work either. In the end, I had to go to the desk and get someone to print them out in person.

From there, we ended up in the wrong queue to get down to the wrong platform, before being directed to the correct one.

After that, everything with the return journey to Scotland went fine. A long wait in the airport, some high winds and rain, but fine.

Connor started off the drive home, making it as far as Dalwhinnie before we switched. The roads up until that point had been alright, despite the snow falling. The SatNav (which we’d had going since the airport to help with the motorway bit of the journey) wanted us to turn in after Aviemore and go home that way. I had turned in just before Aviemore and gone through the town.

There was a lot of surface water on the roads and even just straight up flooding in places. Up until that point, the A9 had been clear and so I figured it’d be a safer bet to re-join the A9, where there was other traffic and gritters.

That was probably a mistake.

Just after Aviemore, the A9 got… Worse. Speeds slowed down to like 30mph at best almost all the way to Inverness. There was a big accident after Inverness, near the ‘cloud factory’, with multiple fire engines, ambulances and police in attendance and not a single one of the crew in place attempting to direct the traffic, despite the fact that there was no way to see what was coming toward us beyond the emergency vehicles.

After waiting for a while to be told when to go, I started creeping forward and a guy in a fire engine motioned that it was safe to go.

Thankfully, there were no further incidents on the way home and having left Edinburgh airport just after 9pm, I arrived home at around 1:20am.

Until next time, Disney.